#disconnected from body

[anthropologistfromentropy]

I'm very grateful I have never become an alcoholic or drug addict like a bunch of my relatives. But I have to admit I'm definitely escaping my life and my body into stories, intellectual pursuits and just mindless scrolling, to an unhealthy degree.

I'm neglecting my basic needs, and it's holding me back, making me less productive. In general disconnected from my body, though at least not as badly as I used to. I think I'm pretty "social engagement and investigating my environment" oriented nowadays, rather than stuck in a Freeze trauma response.

I want to take better care of myself. Just not sure how to actually successfully do it.

Part of the problem is ADHD/autistic hyperfocus, which my meds only worsens. Also my brain being conditioned to be disconnected from my body through years of trauma. Probably gender dysphoria too. And probably schizoid/schizotypal traits (though that's mostly trauma stuff too).

I have tried phone alarms and they help some, but I ignore them a lot too. Especially showering, brushing teeth and exercise I procrastinate/avoid a lot. Lately struggling more with going to sleep at a reasonable time, again.

[theribbajack]

"Now, the vow will be honoured, and my Lord brother's soul will return."

Radahn stans keep winning, but I personally am in Miyazaki's walls rn

[archiepelago]

alternate surface au inspired by a few ive seen around on tumblr :3

[the-apocalypse-is-upon-us]

are you guys seeing this shit

[humming-fly]

I know I've thought of a good shitpost when the premise is only funny to me and maybe three other people

[nelkcats]

The 7th

When the Wizard explained to Billy about his powers he forgot to mention that the Champion of Magic had a seventh patron who would manifest in his greatest moments of need. Although this one did not count as "official" since he was not exactly sharing his powers like the others.

So it's understandable that Billy would freak out at the new voice in his head telling him to steal a sandwich from one of the rude people on the subway.

Billy tried to argue with the voice about it since his parents had taught him all about good and evil but it had been a few days since his conversation with the Wizard Shazam and it had been weeks since his last decent meal other than leftovers. The Sandwich was packed and its owner wasn't paying attention, one little slip and he would have something in his stomach.

Solomon was very upset with the new voice, he was fully aware of who was talking and thought that he had left after the disaster with Adam but apparently the Ghost King had taken an interest in "The New Champion", Solomon had suspicions that it was because Billy was a kid.

The new voice introduced himself as "Phantom", he argued a lot with Solomon, didn't seem to have any moral and Zeus always muttered about his older brother's annoying best friend whenever he manifested. The boy did not know who the new God was but at least he gave good life advice. Or he liked to think so.

Phantom had many arguments with the other immortals, Hercules complained about his friendship with Kronos (which the boy found worrying but decided not to comment), Salomon about his recklessness, Atlas and Achilles bothered him constantly and Mercury kept challenging him to races. But it seemed that thanks to him everyone had become interested not only in helping Captain Marvel but also Billy!

Phantom even had a lot of good advices on being a young hero or keeping his secret from the League and for the first time since he got his powers Billy didn't feel so lost.

[randomfansstuff]

i also wanna just mention the probably most obvious metaphor in dark heir and rise. the hair lengths.

sarcean and anharion both being described as having really long hair. hair holding memories. both james and will having short cut hair. james having slightly longer hair than will since he's been aware of his circumstance for longer.

will's hair growing longer in italy, when they're close to the old palace and his past. hair holds memories.

their distance to their past being symbolised by how long their hair it.

[gothic-mothic]

how did narr even managed to survive outta there irl world before he found stanley again..? bet was confus- anyways, UR ART IS SO SILLYYY N SKOINKY /pos

CW: Panic attack, overstimulation, depersonalization, eyestrain

Begging tumblr to not send this post to the void again

Anyway, The Narrator wasn’t left alone for as long as Stanley was. He followed a familiar stream of thought to safety shortly after he arrived.

To say he was confused would be an understatement to say the least

Also thank you :]

[ruvviks]

PLEASE DO NOT TAG AS YOUR OWN OC OR PAIRING.

Nathan and Ruben share a bond more powerful than most; mutual understanding through past experiences no one should ever have to go through, and through past actions so horrible they cannot be spoken of. Their grief and the blood on their hands binds them to the STEM technology they created, which has alienated them from the rest of the world— but they give each other the comfort they have both longed for so desperately for years, and that is all they need. They are each other's counterpart; you cannot imagine one without the other, like two sides of the same coin. Through their pain, their grief, their desire, and their regret, they have become one.

anna akhmatova, the guest // bones; equinox // 'i won't become' by kim jakobsson // agustín gómez-arcos, the carnivorous lamb // by oxy // achilles come down; gang of youths // czeslaw milosz, from 'new and collected poems: 1931-2001' // 'extended ambience portrait from a resonant biostructure' and 'migraine tenfold times ten' by daniel vega // a little death; the neighbourhood // marina tsvetaeva, from 'poem of the end' // by drummnist // katie maria, winter // 'nocturne in black and gold the falling rocket' by james abbott mcneill whistler // micah nemerever, these violent delights // body language; we are fury // 'the penitent' by emil melmoth // chelsea dingman, from 'of those who can't afford to be gentle'

taglist (opt in/out)

@shellibisshe, @florbelles, @ncytiri, @hibernationsuit, @stars-of-the-heart;

@lestatlioncunt, @katsigian, @radioactiveshitstorm, @estevnys, @adelaidedrubman;

@celticwoman, @rindemption, @carlosoliveiraa, @noirapocalypto, @dickytwister;

@killerspinal, @euryalex, @ri-a-rose, @velocitic, @thedeadthree

[the-mystical-aquatic-gay]

all i need from the magnus protocol is a afab avatar of the flesh, who hit puberty and just went absolutely feral because of everythig that comes with afab puberty

[pessimisticprincess]

😐😐😐😐

[philosophiums]

truly i have been eating all of the theories/ideas lately about itfs cursing each other in some way shape or form at the end of the manga. i love twisted love stories i love a bittersweet ending i love living through the tragedy by enacting violence upon yourself and your loved ones OUGH it's so good

megumi whose main goals this entire series have been centered around yuuji. yuuji who is possibly already acting under the (beginning?) effects of a curse that megumi put on him ("start by saving me" - could also argue that "you've got it from here" isn't helping either kjsdbvjkdfb). megumi who watched yuuji die once and who refuses to see it happen again. yuuji who has witnessed up close everyone dear to him die and cannot lose megumi too....

just... the fighting and clawing and tearing at themselves and each other - desperate to stay together no matter what, even if it leaves them scarred and broken on the other side. because wounds can heal and they can fight to realign themselves with each other and the world, but none of it means anything if they're not alive and together

[bush-hobo]

You know what? I don't hate my body. I hate the fact that my body defines me as a girl. I like the way I look, I don't want to have to take testosterone or hide my chest to be viewed as something other than a girl. I love my body, I love its shape and everything it can do, I'm strong, fast, and decently beautiful, but everything that I should love about myself is undermined because of the flesh bags on my chest? I HATE THAT SO MUCH.

The idea that I have to cut off parts of me to be viewed by society as masculine is awful, and something that I can't help, shaping the way others view me so intensely, really, really hurts me. I don't want to change me. I just want to be accepted for what I am, and the idea that my chest is getting in the way of that is what makes me hate it so much. I don't hate my chest specifically, but the ideas connected to it. If those ideas vanished, I could live happily and freely without having to alter my body. Without having to bind to be comfortable, without having to deal with never quite feeling connected to my OWN BODY. I should feel safe here.

It isn't fair.

[pianokantzart]

All That Remains

One-shot based on @elitadream's Body Swap AU. It's set in the aftermath of Mario's eventual rescue, (it also comes with a few drawings because I was in a mood.) Please note that the Bowser I drew is, for the sake of consistency, based on elitadream's (fcking awesome) Bowser design, and is not my own take.

If you like this AU/concept, please check out the masterpost! There is soooo much good stuff on there.

________________________________

Inexperience and desperation fueled an inferno that turned the bright green fields on the outskirts of The Mushroom Kingdom as black as the heart of The Darklands. Kamek clung to his broom high above the mayhem, and through the smoke and roaring flames he caught glimpses of the two warring bodies, each utterly detached from their senses, unaware of either fatigue or pain as they grappled for dominance in a struggle far more explosive than anything he had witnessed before. Mario alone– equipped with Bowser’s body– seemed to have some sort of a goal beyond delivering as much damage as possible. As clumsy as he was with his giant claws and heavy form, he remained keenly aware of where Luigi and Princess Peach were, and always made sure he was positioned to shield them from the worst of the heat.

Though Luigi and Peach struggled to assist in whatever way they could, the raging inferno that encompassed the fight made even comprehending what was happening around them near impossible, and even Kamek, accustomed to the fire whirl and magma pits of home, felt overwhelmed. Yet, out of fear for his king, he ventured closer, weaving about the spires of flames upon his broomstick to get a better look.

Though Mario and Bowser alike were to blame for the surrounding destruction, he was surprised to find a majority of the fire was radiating from the body of the plumber. Bowser had wielded firebrand with reckless abandon, clearly unaware of such magic’s limitations, barely even noticing the redness and blisters forming upon his skin wherever patches of his gloves and sleeves had been burned away. Mario’s body was more resistant to heat than that of the average human, but it– unlike Bowser's original body– was not immune. Kamek’s concern grew into a subdued panic when, at length, the fire began to lose intensity. Bowser strained to refuel the inferno, staring with unfocused confusion at his all-too-human hands as he struggled to make sparks when he once constructed torrents of white hot flames. He didn’t know what was happening, but Kamek could tell that the abused body was finally failing him. As the heat died down, Luigi and Peach slowly made their approach, careful to avoid the patches of earth that boiled red-hot from the encounter. Seeing where the chips fell, Kamek knew what needed to be done. Thankfully, the spell that had switched Bowser and Mario’s bodies– though difficult to conduct– was childsplay to undo. With the wave of his wand and a whispered charm, both souls were returned to their original form. Luigi and Peach witnessed the flash of light, and the great change in both Mario’s and The Koopa King’s expression.

Immediately, Bowser felt it: the weight of being and the connection to his old flesh. Like waking from a heavy sleep he noted the tiredness in his arms and the ache in his chest, as well as the pain of the bruises and the burns he himself had inflicted in his scuffle with a borrowed body. His newfound sense of weakness triggered a rage. A low, familiar growl rumbled throughout his draconic form as he turned toward the magikoopa hovering nearby.

“Kamek!” he roared, “I did not order you to return me to my body!” Kamek’s broom came to a landing at Bowser’s side– now the true Bowser, through and through. Kamek had expected his lord to be displeased, and yet he couldn’t help flinching, clutching his wand to his chest at the severity of the voice. “I’m sorry sire, but I had no choice! Your old vessel, it… it could not carry on!” “What!?” Bowser blew a puff of smoke and looked to where Mario stood, although “stood” may have been too strong a term. The little plumber– himself, slowly growing aware of his own body– wobbled unsteadily in place. Outside of the injuries he’d undergone in the fight there were other markings; his cheeks sallow and his eyes sunken, his breath labored and his lips cracked and chapped. His knees began to buckle, and the princess and Luigi rushed together to catch him before he hit the ground. Bowser smirked, taking no small amount of satisfaction in the fear that flashed through Mario’s eyes as he steadily crumbled into the arms of his companions.

“See? Your efforts weren’t for naught.” Kamek continued cheerfully, “your hated enemy is defeated, worn thin through ‘his’ decimation of The Mushroom Kingdom’s defenses. We merely need to press forward with the invasion, and victory shall be yours!...”

Kamek was about to continue, when he was interrupted by a violent flash of blue light and the crack of thunder. Luigi had left his brother in the arms of the princess and leapt in front of them, electricity shooting from an outstretched hand, across the charred plane, into the body of the magician.

Kamek, blindsided, received the attack with full-force. He jittered and contorted, unable to emit so much as a shriek as electricity ricocheted through his elderly body, until at length he fell to the ground limp as a ragdoll.

All eyes shifted to Luigi. 

Anyone who had fought with The Mario Brothers, whether as their ally or opponent, knew firebrand had horizontal range and thunderhand had vertical range. Both were capable of incredible destructive power in close quarters, and when Mario and Luigi worked as a team, few had the opportunity to get near enough to feel the full force of their magic. By all accounts, Kamek should have been out of range. Even Luigi appeared utterly bewildered by what he just accomplished, breathing heavily as he looked at his own hands, shivering from adrenaline and sparking uncontrollably.

Bowser, equally confused, bent down at Kamek’s side, and examined him in a moment of what appeared to be genuine concern. With the enemy distracted, Luigi took a step back toward Princess Peach to deliver the harried bullet points of his plan. “You need to get him to The Mushroom Kingdom before the invasion. Get Mario help. Get everyone ready. I’ll keep him busy.” “Luigi!” The princess’ voice was pleading as she gathered Mario into her arms. Truthfully, she knew Luigi’s idea wasn't a bad one. Bowser’s body, despite being in better condition than Mario’s, had not emerged from the battle unscathed. Given the current circumstances, Luigi stood a chance of holding his own, and The Mushroom Kingdom desperately needed time to ready its defenses before Koopa Troops showed up in droves to carry out Bowser’s planned attack. Nonetheless, Peach detested the thought of abandoning him. He had suffered too much on his own already. Furthermore, he and Mario had just been reunited, and she preferred any other possible avenue over splitting them apart again.

Luigi glanced over his shoulder, and forced a reassuring smile that didn't quite fit his words: “I’m sorry! I was so scared I- I didn’t do anything right! I should’ve done more… protected everyone sooner." His voice cracked, those old familiar tears forming in the corner of his eyes. "Please, let me do things right this time.”

Mario, through his fight to maintain consciousness, heard every word, and hated them with every fiber of his being. He attempted to speak, to reach out for his brother, to do anything to console him… but his tongue cleaved to the roof of his mouth and his arms hung limply at his sides. All he could manage was a barely-audible murmur. Luigi had no right to feel this way. He wasn’t the one who had fallen for Bowser’s trap, who had allowed himself to be chained up in the underbelly of the world, who had given over to despair. Luigi, through no fault of his own, had been suddenly abandoned to the whims of a monster, and yet he had escaped and traveled all the way to The Darklands to save him. How could he feel guilt for this? How could he feel anything but proud of himself?

“Luigi…” Peach whispered, but before she could say anything more, there came a thudding of heavy steps. A giant clawed hand cast a shadow over them as Bowser, who realized by now that Kamek wouldn’t be roused any time soon, rushed forward to finish the fight. Luigi leapt over the attack on instinct while The Princess rolled out of the way, holding Mario close to her chest as Bowser’s heavy hand shattered the earth inches from her back. The King of The Koopas turned to Peach, poised to bring down another blow, when Luigi landed upon the back of his neck. One hand clung to his horn, while the other slammed down against the thick, scaly skin of his neck to deliver another pulse of electricity. This time, Bowser felt it, and the sound of his pained roar fueled Luigi’s determination. “Go your highness!” He shouted, struggling to maintain his grip as Bowser fought to shake him off, “I won’t be far behind!” Princess Peach hurried to her feet, hesitating for only a moment longer as she tightened her hold on Mario's body. She felt him grow limp, heard his labored breath slow, and felt the decision had all but been made for her. With a heavy heart she turned and ran toward The Mushroom Kingdom, pouring whatever magic she left into Mario's unconscious form. The burns could be fixed easily, but the effects of starvation, dehydration, and sleep deprivation were not so easily undone. Slow damage required slow remedies, and the worst of his condition had been over a week in the making.

She didn’t dare look back, keeping her eyes focused on the twinkle of the castle’s familiar stained glass window in the distance, shining like a beacon above clouds of ash and smoke as the world behind her echoed with the sound of monstrous roars and crackling thunder.

[mxtxfanatic]

@transparent-internet-maker I feel bad about going back and forth on op’s post, especially since I can’t comment in the notes, so I’m just gonna make a new one. It’s come to my attention that idek if we’re discussing the same source material, so just to put it out there: I am discussing resentful energy as presented in the novel.

With that said: Wei Wuxian couldn’t have survived 3 months without food while heavily injured, but the Burial Mounds is never described as a land where no life can live. In fact, we at least know it’s wooded area. He very likely scavenged whatever edible (or at least non-fatal) plants he could find and hunted whatever meager animals may have wandered in. What he most definitely could not do, however, is survive off of resentful energy. In the novel, it is not conscious. It is not sentient. It’s not “deciding” to preserve him, and it’s not making any sort of contract with him like this is jjk, whether Wei Wuxian knows it or not. The overwhelming presence of resentment in the Burial Mounds would only have the power to make him feel terrible, and Wei Wuxian’s survival can be solely attributed to his life’s goal of living and living well without holding on to resentment, thus preventing the resentful energy from breaking him as it had likely done to others before him who may have initially survived their entrance into the cursed place. Resentful energy does not in any way, shape, or form benefit living beings when residing in them. That’s both the moral of the story and the physical mechanics of the world.

[kira-light0]

🎉 Happy wedding anniversary to BJ and Peg! 🍰